tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102937856333775840.post5032039965055649884..comments2023-12-23T19:04:18.739-05:00Comments on The Crow's Eye: Switching Modes, or Changing GearsJack Crowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07499087036876745723noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102937856333775840.post-64801850751566180292013-06-27T14:38:25.250-04:002013-06-27T14:38:25.250-04:00Thank you for this, for the emotional honesty espe...Thank you for this, for the emotional honesty especially.<br /><br />And if no-one else has said it yet, allow me to say Welcome to the Tribe, meaning the artists and writers. I've yet to meet another tribesman or woman who doesn't have deep experience with "outsiderness".<br /><br />(My boys are also nearing adulthood. You've captured the Ethical Parent's quandaries with startling accuracy.)Deborah Newellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02527317477388626268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102937856333775840.post-8924090560078380132013-06-27T14:14:54.530-04:002013-06-27T14:14:54.530-04:00Heartbreaking. I knew nothing about your backgroun...Heartbreaking. I knew nothing about your background. Makes the mundane angst of the rest of us seem tepid and trivial by comparison.<br /><br />But I do identify with your sense of outsider status. And with wanting to fight the Big Fight but also feeling powerless and wanting to give up. I don't know the answers.Lisa Simeonehttp://tsanewsblog.com/4469/news/tsa-when-the-abnormal-becomes-normal/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102937856333775840.post-53951269969111244202013-05-12T11:02:33.488-04:002013-05-12T11:02:33.488-04:00Or maybe it's because I know from past modes o...<i>Or maybe it's because I know from past modes of self and memory that it doesn't work, this leftist critique of society. Nobody is convinced. Nobody cares. It's time to cut losses and find a life boat.</i><br /><br />Sad, <a href="http://www.bakersfieldcalifornian.com/local/x568091070/Dad-who-died-during-arrest-begged-for-his-life-cops-take-witness-video" rel="nofollow">and true</a>.<br /><br />The strong and powerful keep on stomping the week, and the common taters who cheer and enable the process (Tom Friedman and Fred Hiatt, for example) share in the rewards.<br />~ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©https://www.blogger.com/profile/06252371815131259831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102937856333775840.post-41697431530867364452013-05-09T22:02:32.565-04:002013-05-09T22:02:32.565-04:00Jack,
Thanks for a thoughtful and what I perceive...Jack,<br /><br />Thanks for a thoughtful and what I perceive to be honest answer. I would echo Will's sentiment. I think there are perceptions, observations, experiences, judgments, etc. you bring to the table that nobody I know of does. Compelling reading, esp. when you open up.<br /><br />Jim H.Jim H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02088100982761595050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102937856333775840.post-58999553416922710272013-05-09T19:50:18.567-04:002013-05-09T19:50:18.567-04:00I envy your feeling of healthiness.
The rage see...I envy your feeling of healthiness. <br /><br />The rage seems to have died down. <br /><br />I share some of your story, but don't want to write about it on the blog. Better to stay in the aether, and keep wrestling in my mind, trying to justify my own existence with vain words.<br /><br />Jim's question is a good one. My older one is almost 15. Not much younger than I was when I left home. And I have told her a lot of these stories without really thinking about it. It's only afterward that I realize it may not have been a good idea. But I don't have an agenda about it. It's just what happened. The truth is she's not that interested in my stories right now. <br /><br />Save your energy and stay healthy. You never know when the really Big Fight is actually going to start.Aboniloxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06370224131559283053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102937856333775840.post-13111180662675150682013-05-09T17:17:41.103-04:002013-05-09T17:17:41.103-04:00You could write a memoir. You write well, and you&...You could write a memoir. You write well, and you've had a life that too many people have trouble understanding. I completely understand why you might not want to, though, so I changed my first sentence from "should" to "could".<br /><br />As for the business of being an outsider when your class changes, Orwell, among others, observed it. Class is a form of tribe, I think, and while it's possible to change class, it's unlikely that any class-changer will ever fit into the new tribe perfectly. (But a good tribe will welcome the differences, or overlook them.)Will Shetterlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08539053268352597627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102937856333775840.post-10712425248920478612013-05-09T16:57:52.793-04:002013-05-09T16:57:52.793-04:00Jim,
I've tried to be vulnerable with my chil...Jim,<br /><br />I've tried to be vulnerable with my children. I've told them most of it. Sometimes, that was precautionary (I let my mother start seeing them when my oldest was old enough to explain what signs he needed to look out for). Most of it is just that Baj and I opted for transparency on everything. She, because she spent most of her childhood as a caretaker for her sister with Down's and never got to express her discontent when it timely. Me, because of the above. My kids don't always like that transparency, because we have once weekly airing out sessions that can become lectures rather rapidly (when they aren't all picking on Dad's many quirks of speech, behavior and dialect), but for the most part we have a "no consequences" approach to saying what's on our minds. I've tried to tell most of the "I did that when I was your age" stories with an eye to using them as cautionary tales, but since they weren't raised with religion, politics, enforced social norms and much in the way of punishment* or discipline, I don't know if we're speaking words with the same meanings attached...yet.<br /><br /><br /><br />* - We get mad. We yell, we make terrible parenting decisions in response to the stupid things children do, because they're children, we overreact, we dismiss their opinions when we're tired. But, we have no system of discipline or punishment for them, and our rules are mostly pragmatic (don't get caught, don't mistreat women, don't think lies don't have consequences, don't tell lies if you don't want to be treated as untrustworthy, taking people's shit usually results in people looking the other way when you get caught, etc). My oldest and I have thrown down a couple of times when he felt he could make his point with a naked play for status. I have not allowed him to win those dominance games, because I think that's a bad lesson in general, given how the real world functions, and who actually gets to get away with status victories.Jack Crowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07499087036876745723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9102937856333775840.post-33234668277493366002013-05-09T16:42:13.077-04:002013-05-09T16:42:13.077-04:00How much do tell your kids about your own personal...How much do tell your kids about your own personal ordeal? This is a question I still wrestle with, and my kids sound like they're about the same age as yours.<br /><br />On the one hand, you don't want to influence them. You want them to find their own ways. On the other, you don't want them to make the same choices and, if you will, mistakes. You want them to make, and learn from, their own mistakes—as along as they're not too serious. And, on yet another hand, you don't want them to think that 'oh, it's okay, daddy did it when he was my age and look how he turned out.'<br /><br />Really courageous post. It's tough to look upon one's self with such an analytical eye.<br /><br />I don't see how the political fits in with the personal here, though. But that's okay. It's not me, it's you. Or rather, it's me, not you.Jim H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02088100982761595050noreply@blogger.com