"...it's not the training to be mean but the training to be kind that is used to keep us leashed best." ~ Black Dog Red

"In case you haven't recognized the trend: it proceeds action, dissent, speech." ~ davidly, on how wars get done

"...What sort of meager, unerotic existence must a man live to find himself moved to such ecstatic heights by the mundane sniping of a congressional budget fight. The fate of human existence does not hang in the balance. The gods are not arrayed on either side. Poseiden, earth-shaker, has regrettably set his sights on the poor fishermen of northern Japan and not on Washington, D.C. where his ire might do some good--I can think of no better spot for a little wetland reclamation project, if you know what I mean. The fight is neither revolution nor apocalypse; it is hardly even a fight. A lot of apparatchiks are moving a lot of phony numbers with more zeros than a century of soccer scores around, weaving a brittle chrysalis around a gross worm that, some time hence, will emerge, untransformed, still a worm." ~ IOZ

Oct 6, 2011

Glomming On

Shorter Wee Denny: Like, wicked awesome, dudes! Those young people are doing neato stuff. That's why I'm going to submit legislation which will accomplish nothing, but will let me re-brand myself as a hero of the left. My name has been associated with taking rides in Air Force One and folding up like Houdini after a gut punch, for far too long now.

Shorter Juan de Cia: My man Steve Jobs is just so American. He could have been a dangerous radical, because of Muslimy blood and Araby parents. But, America made him good. And a Buddhist! And a wizard with digits! He's the adopted son of the American dream. Steve Jobs got trippy and iPhones are like LSD, because they blow your mind man. So, neener neener neener Rick Perry.

Shorter insane conservatives: Those fucking hippies in New York are shiftless bums. They're protesting because they're too lazy to be real manly men. They are the vanguard of Obama's jobless revolution. They're waiting for their moment to damage property and kill good Christians. Look - Sean Hannity told me so! The Tea Party was not astro-turfed. The Tea Party is Real America! (I know, because I'm angry about scary people who have vaginas, or brown skin, or who cannot afford to ride bicycles along old Indian trails and be super pissed about soft womanish men. No, no - I'm not obsessed with homosexuals...I swear it. Just because I paint everyone who disagrees with me as soft, girly, sexually compromised by penetration or hungry for cock it doesn't mean I have these things on my mind night and day. You shut up, you dirty pussy intellectual...)*

* - I kid you not: More insane conservatarians. The Tea Party, a wholly owned subsidiary of the GOP, is "authentic" and reflects real America (they're on to something there, by the way), but the folks at Zuccotti Park are parallels of both the Bolsheviks and the perpetrators of Nein Eleven. There is perhaps no greater comedy than conservatives with their hands on history books...


Jack Crow said...

I guess before Karl/Charles sockpuppets in with a defense of whitey: The Tea Party folks were given all access media passes and were remarkably free of, I dunno, being arrested. The OWS have worked under a media blackout that was only lifted in order to portray them as mass movement bogeymen so scary that they had to be arrested in the hundreds.

That should communicate something to even observers four days into a three day bender.

Landru said...

Aw, man, I was gonna do a fake double secret sockpuppet. You won't let me have any fun.

Jack Crow said...

You can have your fun, L'Andru.

But, I get to take a shot at fans of DC soccer. Fair?

Meh. I can't do that. That's like kicking puppies.

fish said...

Or Cubs fans.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

For even more zany conservative criticism of OWS, they're too white.

P.S. Totally O.T. Until the other day, I did not know that Blue Jays are corvids.

Jack Crow said...


A criticism I understand, actually. Especially in NYC. Leveled against protestor in Burlington, VT - not so much.

(We had to know about birds, growing up. My parents were birders. Not one of the things they did poorly...)

Goyim Flackington Bridwell IV said...

Ahhhh... the "cynic" who is little more than a progressive has spoken.

The "leftist" who is little more than a pocket dictator has spoken.

The uni prof who pretends he's a man of the people, has spoken.

The little yuppie who "lives poor" in fable, and has a team of writers at his blog --including one who pretends to be his "wife"-- has spoken.

And he thinks by blaming everything on Karl/Charles, he's showing superiority of...




Comic talent?

Or... none of the above.

I choose (D).

Tend to those daddy issues, Crow. Tell us how your daddy beat you, and made you hate males forever.

Tell us how you used to fuck women and throw them away, and now are a "feminist" to make up for it.

Tell us, Crow.

Jack Crow said...

Right on cue, sockpuppet.


Used to try understand you. Defended you, and not out of obligation. You had this wounded animal thing, and I thought it was unfair that no one had patience for you.

Now I see you for what you are: the jock corporate lawyer who makes funny of gays and fat women and thinks that people respect him for it because he's "just telling the truth." And when you find people who have no patience for the loud, aggressive jerk in the room, as one imagines is often the case, you're not really capable of seeing yourself as the little man who wanted to be big - as the, you know, loud jerk in the room. So, you invent a legion of coordinating opponents. All of them liars. A cabal of women and fags and intellectuals bristling with desire to put you in your place, to engage you in a fight in which you alone are the hero. All of them fascinated with you, you, you.

A classic paranoid style, in keeping with the American tradition of white man grievances. A lawyer's version, even.

It's not enough that you have a voice, is it sock puppet? You've got to assert you need to be right. You've got to be the voice of the hard and ugly truths, in the face of which lesser, softer people wither. It's not that you're merely a rude and aggressive jerk. You've got that mirror to your eyes, and it's telling you that you're the hard individual, the rugged man who is just telling it like it is.

And the people who disagree with you?

It's not that they just don't agree. They're pussy men. They're angry women. They're cock suckers and ugly fat chicks. They're all frauds, too.

Because you're rugged, because you live authentically in a world of liars, that's the root of your hatred for this world, and no sleight - real or imagined - can ever go unanswered, because of it, can it?


It's a pity you're not even pitiable.

Anonymous said...

Meh. You're overthinking it IMHO. He really couldn't be more blatant if he wore a brightly coloured fright wig and lived under a bridge.

anne said...

,hello pen jack, ..not that familiar with you and your writing here, one can only quickly look at so much .. , but curious ..on seeing the .. on old indian trails,paths ..in what you have written there .. did you see a while back when i questioned 'trot ..on his runs over the roots of trees ..and then after said why .. ?

Jack Crow said...

Sorry, I didn't, anne.

anne said...

no need for sorry ..just curious .. /,it was about .. of.. more native to this land.. burial mounds that i was helping to replant around.. and on ..with those that have been here ..of.. part of this land ..for a very long time .. /sorry about the awkward writing of that ..something in me makes me do this more at times than others .. .like i'm searching inside for some exact of something ..of wording ..

JTG said...

Speaking of Jobs, I can't help but notice that the same pwogs who see the Koch brothers under every bed are now bawling over this robber baron's demise.

Soma said...

Oh, Jobs, HE was a good man. You know, what with being a giant, corporate demigod who ripped off cliquey stupid people with too much money.

You know, the guy who fleeced the masses with bullshit about a product's superiority because the company is riding its long-lost roots credibility with flashy brand zealotry.

Jobs can rest well, now. His legacy may carry into whether or not Apple becomes the name of its own country, or planet.

Jack Crow said...

Apple is its own homeland. As is Koch Industries.