"...it's not the training to be mean but the training to be kind that is used to keep us leashed best." ~ Black Dog Red

"In case you haven't recognized the trend: it proceeds action, dissent, speech." ~ davidly, on how wars get done

"...What sort of meager, unerotic existence must a man live to find himself moved to such ecstatic heights by the mundane sniping of a congressional budget fight. The fate of human existence does not hang in the balance. The gods are not arrayed on either side. Poseiden, earth-shaker, has regrettably set his sights on the poor fishermen of northern Japan and not on Washington, D.C. where his ire might do some good--I can think of no better spot for a little wetland reclamation project, if you know what I mean. The fight is neither revolution nor apocalypse; it is hardly even a fight. A lot of apparatchiks are moving a lot of phony numbers with more zeros than a century of soccer scores around, weaving a brittle chrysalis around a gross worm that, some time hence, will emerge, untransformed, still a worm." ~ IOZ

Apr 15, 2011


Republicans: Government is too big! For shame! Do not give money to the old, to the poor, to women who have abortions! Do not give it to irresponsible black people. We. Must. Save. America. From. The. Shifty. Grifters! Hard work! The rich create life for everyone else! Jesus! Jesus!

Democrats: Now, now, Reppy - that's not quite fair. The elderly and the melanin rich are reliable constituencies, and we really need to make sure that we sell their abandonment to them responsibly. Times are tough, and as long as we're willing to share some sacrifice with them, theoretically of course, we can keep on pretending that the whole business of running a federal government isn't and hasn't from day one been a pyramid scheme to enrich ourselves. You are just too crass, Reppy. You need to work on your optics. Okay, okay - don't work on them. You're perfect just the way you are. We look so civilized and reasonable when you're throwing Christer tantrums about abortion and Teh Gays.  But we want the same things, don't we? So please, maybe a little less about black people. They can be touchy.

War profiteers: You guys aren't gonna mess with the war budget, right?

Republicans and Democrats, together: Of course not, silly. And don't worry about the people making a stink. We've got them hating each other over artificial division so much that each of them has a college department these days.

War profiteers: Phew. With all this talk of shared sacrifice and fiscal responsibility, y'know, you had us worried for a moment.

Bankers: Heads up, guys. We made a whole lot of loot off of that two year manufactured crisis. Some of the peasants seem to be catching on. Could we get some action in Venezuela, or something?

Democrats: Christ, dudes, you know the schedule. That has to wait until a Republican gets elected. Make a flashy commercial about Hamilton and citizenship or something. Go sponsor a greenwash, man.

Republicans: Why the fuck didn't Bog make a remote control for the uterus?!


senecal said...


Dem: Hey, there's Bernie and Dennis out on the lawn. Shall we let them in?

Rep: Sure!

Randal Graves said...

Didn't anyone ever tell you to make sure that your optics were clean?

Jonathan Versen said...

I don't believe in Bog.