"...it's not the training to be mean but the training to be kind that is used to keep us leashed best." ~ Black Dog Red

"In case you haven't recognized the trend: it proceeds action, dissent, speech." ~ davidly, on how wars get done

"...What sort of meager, unerotic existence must a man live to find himself moved to such ecstatic heights by the mundane sniping of a congressional budget fight. The fate of human existence does not hang in the balance. The gods are not arrayed on either side. Poseiden, earth-shaker, has regrettably set his sights on the poor fishermen of northern Japan and not on Washington, D.C. where his ire might do some good--I can think of no better spot for a little wetland reclamation project, if you know what I mean. The fight is neither revolution nor apocalypse; it is hardly even a fight. A lot of apparatchiks are moving a lot of phony numbers with more zeros than a century of soccer scores around, weaving a brittle chrysalis around a gross worm that, some time hence, will emerge, untransformed, still a worm." ~ IOZ

Jun 6, 2011

Crow's Corollary Number One

Anthony Weiner can do whatever the fuck he wants with his dick, as long as it's voluntary for all parties involved. For all that I care. And I don't care. I care about the involuntary, only in so much as I believe in the strongest terms possible that victims possess a material freedom to do extraordinary violence to their abuser(s), if they so need or desire.

Still, there's a maxim worth exploring here.

I'm a vain man, so I'm going to rename it pseudonymously something like Crow's Corollary Number One.

As in, corollary to the equally vain Crow's Law, which reads:

"Without some obvious use or abuse of mocking irony, it is impossible to create a parody of liberal self-betrayal that someone, somewhere won't mistake for conservative wishful thinking."

Anyway, the corollary:

Any time a man seeks political office or power, he is doing so with his dick out in front of him. (If he's a conservative, he's going to call that dickulation "Jesus" or "Family" or "Morality." If he's a liberal, he's going to pretend really, really hard that it's a solemn concern for the downtrodden, the oppressed and the poor. But, it's really about power. And for men who need to have power as an office, a position, a publicly recognized status, it's about the dick. Always.)

Men who plunge into the future dicks forward have no grounds for complaint when they catch them in the fencing. I can only suggest to passersby who happen upon men caught up by their penises, that when presented with the opportunity to do so, they give the fencing a good, solid shove...

Post Script:

Who is caught up in a dick scandal? The intellectual Democratic strategist. The big picture wunderkind with the shiny tactical brain (and an irrepressible penis).

Who walked away from a mediated attempt to paint her as stupid and ahistorical, riding higher than ever, and with almost no fallout or damage to her prospects and fortunes? The "caribou barbie."

The people who think Palin is a stupid dipshit are probably the same folks who took the educated liberal at his word and suspended good sense to believe that Weiner had been hacked. They're probably the same sort of people who believe that Al Gore couldn't possibly have groped and assaulted those lying bitch massage therapists...


Anonymous said...

Closing paragraph is painful for pwogs. I'd like to say I empathize with them and their embarrassment, humiliation, down-pegging, de-pantsing... but I don't. I relish it.

Nothing more annoying to me than a self-righteous, pseudo-superior Pwoggie. Nothing.

They're the biggest hypocrites in America.

Jack Crow said...

There's room here for schadenfreude, Karl. Sometimes empathy is misplaced.

Happy Jack said...

You might not care about this stuff, but I sure as hell do. Humor is what gets me through the day.

I remember the chuckles about kerning back in the day. What's funny, someone at Dkos used "logic and reason" to deduce that Weiner was hacked.

An uneducated guess would have noticed the cluestick that Weiner never came out and denied that was a picture of his pecker. "Hmmm, can't say one way or the other, doesn't everyone have a stash of them laying around?"

Quin said...

Are we not big enough inside to feel both schadenfreude and empathy?

Jack Crow said...


I don't care about what dudes do with their penises, or what ladies do with their lady parts, is what I meant. I'm not a fan of the prurience-prudery which defines our culture. I think dicks are ugly, and I think that there's a whole lot of stupid hooplah about how seeing dicks and vaginas and nipples damages children so much that a young man who takes a drunken piss outside a bar can be successfully prosecuted as a sex offender.


I can't rustle up any empathy for politicians. Especially dick tweeters who cannot suss out that the internet never forgets.

Brian M said...

can't we despise both Obama AND Caribou Barbie, Jack? I'm sorry...but the woman is still a vile tool being funded by particularly nasty folks, even if you for some reason admire her.

Jack Crow said...

I don't admire Sarah Palin, Brian. I'm dismissive of her critics, who miss the point of her influence, who misjudge her intelligence and who fail to understand her import.