A Melange of Maunder and Discontent

1. Below, in a predictable fit of vanity, writing about Al Gore's alleged incapacity to keep his manpaws to his pigself, I typed something which seems a wee harsh and misplaced, upon rereading it. Ragey irony doesn't work if loserman (me) forgets to hotlink the quote which inspires it.

This:

"The people who think Palin is a stupid dipshit are probably the same folks who took the educated liberal at his word and suspended good sense to believe that Weiner had been hacked. They're probably the same sort of people who believe that Al Gore couldn't possibly have groped and assaulted those lying bitch massage therapists..."

...works not at all when this:

"...those lying bitch massage therapists..."

...doesn't link to the comment thread, here.

2.) I don't know who Bonnie Fuller is. As she writes for the AOLSwoonington and presides over a webspectacle humbly entitled HollywoodLife.com, she's starts off with two strikes against her. For the third strike, you have to read her takeaway from the Wandering Weiner Carnival of Indiscretion and Riotously Tropey Self-Betrayal, which she addresses, irony free, directly to Weiner's wife:

"...Anthony Weiner's real problem was that he felt inadequate inside -- like the skinny, gawky, nerdy guy he once was, says Dr. Carle. 'Then he got into a position of political power, and suddenly women were flocking all over him, but he still felt inadequate. Communicating with these other women though would give him a feeling of power, that boosted his self-esteem.'

And then Huma, he got addicted to this high he was getting from flirting with the kind of women -- young and pretty -- that he never thought would pay any attention to him before he was a bigwig.

You -- you have to get him to actually dig into why he feels so negatively about himself or he will never overcome his addiction. And if he can't quit his urge to show off his genitals to strange women, then he can never have a truly loving relationship with you."

You getting this, kind readers? Weiner is compelled to sext his dickshop all around the country because he was once a geek but got power and is now playacting his triumph over geekitude by geek gawking his ganker to the lowest possible (free, unsolicited) bidder.

And it's his wife's responsibility to help him therapurbate himself into self-confidence and healthy self-esteem, so that he can dedicate his genitalia and his finer emotions, with abiding true love, to her alone.

Briefly - fuck that. If he can't keep his dick in his pants, that's his problem. If he goes further than that, it's really his problem, and I'll personally start up the legal defense fund for any woman who permanently deprives him of the true object of his affections. His wife doesn't owe him jack. It's not her job to save him. He doesn't even need to be saved. He's like approximately every single other man who got himself a position of power. He's a dick with the sanction to use himself badly. One day, he'll join the rest of his ilk, sputtering drunken muttered obscenities from collapsed shacks on the bottle strewn beaches of the former tax havens of the Cayman Islands and Mauritius, scheming their revenge against swarthy foreigners and revenant labor, as a punitive rising sea prepares to drink them in and forget them forever.

And here's the especially sick part of Fuller's presumptive and obsessed fan note a clef to Mrs. Abedin - if you replace the gender pronouns of her advice, it reads like the sort of postcard the now corpsified Mr. Comstock would have allowed to pass through the mail:

"And if she can't quit her urge to show off her genitals to strange men, then she can never have a truly loving relationship with you."

Porn's not something I pack into my bindle of sundries. I think porn is accident scene footage from a collision between the camera lens, fascist aesthetics and the late stages of sex hating taylorist capitalism. It's sex as degraded  and managed labor. But, but, but. I've known hookers, porn actresses and exhibitionists. They are, in fact, capable of deep and deeply emotional loyalties. Women and men can show each other their genitals and still retain the ability to love, clown.

3.) Melissa McEwan thinks Andrew Breitbart owes Anthony Weiner an apology. And no, this isn't fucking satire. She thinks that Weiner was exploited and coerced into making an ass of himself. You know, because it was Breitbart who took pictures of Weiner's dick and tweeted them into infamy. Fucking Democrats never learn, do they?

4.) Watch this. Then read this. You are already a better person than you were thirty seconds ago.

5.) Tim Pawlenty is supercaliragilisticespialidocious. Please, Timmy, please - make class war the center of your establishment backed campaign. If you do it over and over again, Timmy, I will send you my dollar. I promise it. Granted, you have to stick to the script, which has you portraying a hypercapitalist warhawk like Obama as the reincarnation of Frantz Fanon, but it's a small price to pay. Beat that fucking drum, Timmy. Because dem workahs is too stupids to notice how all your compatriots (Dems and Republicans) are busy cooking up punitive austerity. While you're at it, Tim - a reminder of what the class war looks like, in late capitalist America:

Ridiculously dressed and conspicuously wealthy nitwits gather to celebrate their de-classed obsession with plant fiber body drapings, studiously ignoring all the while the wage slaves and actual slaves whose labor buys them their affluence and their irrelevance.

Oh, unreal gods and imaginary fates, Timmy, please please please advertise class war as far and as wide as possible. And if you could be so kind, could you have Limbaugh and Hannity give you a hand?